When difficulties become insurmountable, inevitable, Henry sought surcease in exercise. For three years, swimming had been a sort of refuge and he turned to it as one man to music or another to drink. There was a point when he would resolutely stop thinking and go to the Virginia coast for a week to wash his mind in water. Far out past the breakers he could survey the green-and-brown line of the Old Dominion with the pleasant impersonality of a porpoise. The burden of his wretched marriage fell away with the buoyant tumble of his body among the swells, and he would begin to move in a child's dream of space. Sometimes remembered playmates of his youth swam with him; sometimes, with his two sons beside him, he seemed to be setting off along the bright pathway to the moon.

i could say the same of canoeing.

i am not going to let what you said affect me. you can criticise my every action in the most indirect way possible in front of everyone (and you've been doing it for the longest time, i'm not stupid you know?) and get away with it because everyone thinks you're right. but in my opinion, that's the coward's way out. and despicable. c'mon just tell it to my face, i'm more than happy to thrash everything out with you. who knows? i might just have breakdown in front of you (ha won't you enjoy that?) and you'll find out things are exactly easy for me. you want a spoiler? i could rant on and on about the lack of support from my mum when it comes to canoeing. but you wouldnt understand would you? we're from such different circumstances.

i know you probably think i cant ever be serious about anything and that promise i made.. you think i've already forgotten about it. but yknow what? you're wrong, that' s always on my mind. because it's a promise i made to myself, and along with it, a rededication of my life to God. don't flatter yourself, i did not make the promise because that would be what you want. i made the promise because that is what pleases God.
who made you the model of discipline anyway? and why is it wrong to want to have fun with the people i love? i think that's precisely what's different between you and me, won't you agree? it's all about having (or at least trying to maintain) a trace of humanity, being able to accept and love everyone else and not trying to control them and mould them into 'mini-you's because you need them to achieve the goal you have in mind, knowing that people around you are not there waiting to pounce on you when you are your weakest so that they can steal it from you, knowing that life isn't all about competition, competition, competition..

anyway, what's ur obsession with bringing me down?
or maybe i should ask, WHAT'S YOUR DEEPEST FEAR?

i always found it odd that you can never look me in the eyes when you talk to me. what have you got to hide that may lose others' "respect" for you?

i know i said that referring to others on ur blog in an obscure way is pretentious, but just allow me this one contradiction. and it's for a good reason, trust me.